The "Episode"

So ... I had an "episode" last week while I was babysitting the grand kids. I call it an "episode" because I'm not sure what else to call it, other than my body continuing its rebellion, even as I am giving it good things, like healthy food and plenty of water, stretching exercises and the occasional walk. This "episode," that happened whilst I was just sitting, playing UNO with the kids, consisted of my heart "flopping" (for lack of a better description) in my chest, followed by an immediate flush of redness/heat up to my face/head and a feeling that I might lose consciousness. That feeling passed after about five minutes, but not before my oldest granddaughter called 911.

This was, in fact, a repeat of an "episode" I had last February, while I was at the office. Also, during a time of simply sitting, working at my desk. That episode earned me a ride to the emergency room with the paramedics. I declined a similar ride last week and choose, instead, to follow up with my doctor, which, I will be doing tomorrow. By the way, just for the record, I do not recommend at any time going against the advice of medical professionals who, in an emergency situation, want to transport you to the hospital. Whenever they want to take you to the ER, and you have the coverage for it, you should probably let them.

So why did I not follow my own advice? It's complicated and it's something I'm working on. This road I'm traveling toward health is not just about food for me. I am learning about taking care of myself in more ways than what I eat. I'm learning about letting go of fears ... some fears that have plagued me since childhood. It is uncovering some issues that have been hidden a long time and some I didn't even realize I had ... things that are not going to change overnight, or even in a matter of weeks. But it's not a sprint, it's a marathon ... a journey of the physical, emotional and spiritual. And, not necessarily, in that order.