It's Complicated ...

You’d think salad dressing recipes and grief are two totally unrelated topics that don’t belong in the same blog post … right?! Well, you’d think so, but here you go … 

I haven’t blogged for over a year. So to my many, OK … four, followers, I do apologize for leaving you hanging. You have missed me, right? I just haven’t felt the motivation or inclination to write. It seems kinda ironic that my last post in June 2018 was titled, “How Blogging Has Helped Me and How it May Help You.”  Perhaps I should re-read it myself, but as I said I haven’t been motivated, stimulated, inclinated (if that’s a word) or any other kind of “ated” as I have been dealing with some (a lot of) complicated grief. Some days it's all I can do to motivate myself out of bed in the morning.

From left: Charli, Kahlua, Bear.. all now at Rainbow Bridge.

It started July 13, 2018 with the death of my beloved dog, Kahlua. A very premature death, as he was only 5 years old. It then escalated with the realization that there were other losses I have suffered that I haven’t fully dealt with … other beloved pets, my mom’s death, my dad’s death, the death of a close friend and mentor, the moving away of friends, the estrangement of family, etc. As I said, it’s complicated … complicated grief that remained (remains?) unprocessed. Now, unprocessed … in the context of a whole food, plant based diet, the usual subject of this blog, is a good thing. I still believe unprocessed (whole) foods are definitely best for the human body. Unprocessed grief, however, has got to be the worst. … Has been the worst, at least for me, this past year or so. My therapist (yes … I am not ashamed to share that I needed to seek out professional help) thinks that blogging could be beneficial for the processing of my grief but that is not meant to be the subject of my post today.

I am actually writing about a completely different type of loss I experienced recently when I visited my local Trader Joe’s. I don’t get to Trader Joe’s very often so when I do, there are a few things I like to stock up on. The number one item being sesame soy ginger vinaigrette. I have found this to be such a versatile sauce for veggies and noodle dishes as well as a dressing for salad. After adding a few items to my cart I wandered down the salad dressing aisle … once … twice … and then a third time. What was going on here? There was no sesame soy ginger vinaigrette to be found. Seriously? I didn’t even see an empty spot on the shelf where it should have been. Then, horror of horrors, upon inquiring at the customer service desk, I was told that it had been discontinued … a month ago. What?! … wait … what???!!! How?!  How could they do this?! How can I live without sesame soy ginger vinaigrette?!!!  It is the only truly oil free dressing that I have found that I love … love … LOVE. And it was relatively inexpensive … not like some other brands that shall remain nameless.

After catching my breath, I realized that if I had (barely) endured this past year without Kahlua, I could live without sesame soy ginger vinaigrette. Or not. What if I didn’t have to live without it? What if I could just replace it? I could … I could do that. Note: While this may work for this particular situation, it will not work for dogs. I know … I thought to try and replace Kahlua (as if!) with a look alike (eerily so) doggie in need of a home a couple weeks into my grieving. Fortunately I took the advice of my therapist and did not … but I digress.

Back to the sad salad dressing situation. Thankfully, I still had an almost empty bottle of the good stuff in my fridge and, using the ingredient list from the back of the bottle, this morning I concocted my own copycat recipe which you can find below. Is it as good as the original? No. While the label provided the ingredients, it didn’t provide measurements. The color is different … lighter. The consistency is not quite the same. The taste, while yummy (in my humble opinion) is definitely not exactly the same. Will it do? Yes it will. I can live with it. Life goes on ...

Yes … life does go on. Enter Itsy Bitsy … not a Kahlua replacement by any means. He looks nothing like him and his personality is totally different. Itsy is outgoing and fierce while Kahlua was more shy and reserved. Itsy barks … a lot. Kahlua never really barked all that much, but he did howl. His howl was the sweetest puppy song I had ever heard. How my heart would fill with joy when he would throw back his head and let loose, encouraged by and emulating his daddy who taught him well. I have had to insist that my husband not teach Itsy Bitsy the same behavior for fear my heart could not take it.

So Itsy barks … and barks … and barks. It drives me crazy sometimes, but I have also grown to love him fiercely, madly, totally. I didn’t think I had it in me, after Kahlua, to feel this much love for another furry creature.  And yet … I do. And yet … again, I digress, but I am not going to apologize. It’s who I am, it’s what I’m dealing with. And, this morning, while yet still dealing with complicated grief I felt both motivation and inclination to experiment and come up with a pretty darn good salad dressing and then blog about it. A salad dressing that I know I will grow to love … scratch that … enjoy … as much as the original. The word love really shouldn’t be used in conversations about food, but that’s another post.

So, if you, like me, really, really enjoyed Trader Joe’s sesame soy ginger vinaigrette, try this version and let me know what you think. And, if you try it and make any changes to improve it or make it more like the original … please do let me know. After all … recipes are just a starting point, right?!

To your health …

Sesame Soy Ginger Vinaigrette

Ingredients
1/2 cup water
1/4 cup rice vinegar
1/4 cup apple cider vinegar
1/4 cup soy sauce
2 tbsp honey
1 tbsp tahini
1 tbsp miso
1 clove garlic
1 tsp ground ginger
1/4 tsp NOW organic Better Stevia extract powder 
1/8 tsp xanthan gum (optional)
2 tbsp sesame seeds, toasted

Instructions:
Place all ingredients except toasted sesame seeds in a blender and blend. I would have used fresh ginger if I had it. Not sure how much to use if you want to sub.

After blending add the toasted sesame seeds in and mix just to combine, keeping the seeds whole. Then bottle up and store in the refrigerator. I do not know how long this keeps but it will be used too fast to worry about that.

Note: I have xanthan gum listed as optional. I like how it thickens the dressing. If you prefer your dressing not thickened, or if you are opposed to using xanthan gum, simply omit it. I also use stevia. You may not want to use stevia. I won't judge you, but you may want to add more honey or other sweetener to taste. I am going to try using dates in this next time and will update the recipe is that works.